Problem Players

Sometimes, you have problematic players for various reasons. Rules Gurus become Rules Lawyers, Adventurers become Hack-n-Slash meat grinders, and Roleplayers become self righteous martyrs.

Always remember the A1 rule is have fun. Everyone is there taking time out of their busy schedule to have fun. Exactly zero of your players, and probably you yourself, have come to a session to have it spoiled by an immature jerk throwing a tantrum or bogging the game down with their trivial foibles.

So the first question you should ask is, is it really that trivial? If it is, maybe it’s not worth the fight. If it’s something that won’t break the game, it could be solved in an instant simply by granting the player the requested concession. Doing this periodically also softens hard hearts to future instances of having to be firm and final.

But, other times you cannot budge. You have made your decision and should not let any player talk you out of it—even if that decision is wrong, save it for the post game discussion. But dealing with problem personalities isn’t all about GM rulings. There are other nuances of interaction, body language, and vocalization that must be read and assessed at the game table. You probably do it without thinking about it—most people do. When things are starting to heat up, maybe call a break, grab some pizza, or call it a night if it’s an opportune time to do so.

General assholery can really break a game. I’ve had one person break an entire group to pieces on more than one occasion. In one case recently, I banned the offender from the group with no hesitation, kicked him off the roll20 game, and blocked him from contacting me without a second thought. This is the correct way to handle it. That group continued without him, but had it gone unchecked the group would likely have disbanded.

In 2000, I had a fellow player and former friend blow a gasket, throw a championship level fit on the group forum (which I never should have allowed the posts to go through to begin with), and singlehandedly shatter the group.

This was a "One Campaign with Multiple GM’s" game, and was basically the worst experience of my gaming life (so far). On a day that the GM on deck didn’t show, or call, anyone, another picked up and ran so a game could happen. Upon hearing this, GM on deck throws himself a screaming hissy fit on the group forum, doesn’t return the materials he borrowed, and unfriends himself with everyone in the group.

My game and group was utterly devastated and took years before I was able to rebuild any semblance of a campaign. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have handled him the way I handle the same situation now.

Such players are figuratively like cancer, and should be cut from your campaign (and truthfully your life) like the tumors that they are. Their poison infects, and it spreads if you allow it to. Like vampires they drain you your energy. It starts so innocuous but it creeps on you. Suddenly your entire group is dismayed, demoralized, disinterested, disengaged, and absent. This case was so extreme that after the incident some of us ceased to be friends not just with the offending GM but with one another.

There is no quick and simple formula to explain this. You just have to develop the judgement to, to quote an ancient eastern philosopher, “Know when to hold ‘em, Know when to fold ‘em, Know when to walk away, and know when to run.”